It doesn't count if your heels stay on, sweetie.

When your girlfriend comes home drunk and she's wetter and smellier

When you come home drunk and smelly and your boyfriend starts

While you're busy getting drunk with the groomsmen...

Doesn't count!

"it doesn't count we were on a 'break' remember?"

It literally doesn't count as cheating if you just tease another

Drunk cheating makes her very naughty

I mean, it's just a game, plus she got drunk enough to not remember

It doesn't count if you were too drunk to remember

Had some drinks right before the goon session with my bud, this

Does it count if you're too drunk to remember?