Apparently, when i'm drunk i chew my gum like a cow. 🐄

My “straight” friends love to use me when they’re drunk,

My boyfriend doesn’t wait up when I go out, so when I get drunk

My buddy looks so girly nowadays…so when I’m drunk I use

Apparently I go a cross-eyed when I try to focus on my nipples!😅

my husband shared me with his boss when i was drunk

My new roommate just found out how friendly I get when I'm drunk

My new roommate just found out how friendly I get when I’m

Chew this ass like bubble gum

do you think my delivery driver was surprised when he saw me

My bully Chris offered to drive my wife and I home because we

When it's too cold outside, my nurse likes to keep busy with