Is this your card?

WHO WAS SWINGING THEM?!

Suck machine 9000

My BJ made him bust early. I laughed at him, then got super turned

You guys are my favorite subreddit

When your GF told you she thought he'd hit on you, you just laughed.

Perfection

Scared the shileto out of me

Man wakes up to severed (fake) penis

dog fears the boob

Gem from TikTok. (Adding NSFW for grab area)

Their goal was to kick me simultaneously...every time they succeeded