I'm in need of a new chair! How about your face?

I have free access and I'm ready to chat and use your face as

I don't have a chair, can I use your face?

May I use your face as a chair?

May I use your face as a chair?

Sorry sir, there is no free chair, may I sit on your face?

I'm trying to replace my chair with your face!

I'm trying to replace my chair with your face!

I got bored of my chair, I hope your face is available

I got bored of my chair, I hope your face is available

How about we replace this chair with your face?

Can I use your face as a chair?